Why ‘enough’ is harder than it sounds

Mental Health Matters

One of the founders of Rosedale, Anne Beckett-Allen, has been a long time advocate for the importance of mental health. As a qualified Mental Health First Aider, she has trained numerous people on the importance of physical and mental health.

In this blog, Anne writes about how hard ‘enough’ can be. Speaking from experience, she draws on her own personal challenges, the fundraising challenges that Rosedale undertakes as well as the importance of ‘enough’.

I recently finished reading a book called ‘Not Needing New – A Practical Guide to Finding the Joy of Enough‘.

The book wasn’t about going without or denying ourselves pleasure. More so, about noticing how easily we fall into the belief that happiness lies just beyond the next purchase, the next improvement, the next challenge or the next version of ourselves.

It made me think about how often our mental wellbeing becomes tangled up with that sense of “not quite enough”.

I’m not really a shopaholic, but the bit about the next challenge resonated with me, as those who know me will know most years will involve a new fitness challenge, climbing a mountain, running a marathon or completing an ironman. This year I decided to walk around the outside of the Isle of Wight for a fundraising challenge for Rosedale’s charity of the year.

Modern life gives us plenty of opportunities to compare. And comparison, as most of us know, can be surprisingly hard on the mind.

Social media has amplified that effect enormously. It is almost impossible to scroll through a feed without seeing someone who appears to be living slightly better than we are. Someone running faster, travelling further, decorating more beautifully, or somehow managing to look calm and organised while doing all of the above.

Of course we know, rationally, that social media shows a carefully edited version of life. We are rarely seeing the messy kitchen, the argument before the photograph was taken, or the exhaustion that comes after the big achievement.

But even when we know that, comparison can still quietly chip away at our sense of contentment.

Psychologists have long recognised something called social comparison. Humans naturally measure themselves against others in order to understand where they fit in the world. It is a normal part of being human.

The challenge now is that instead of comparing ourselves with a small circle of neighbours or colleagues, we can suddenly find ourselves measuring our lives against hundreds of people every day.

That can be exhausting for the mind.

One of the problems with constant comparison is that it quietly moves the goalposts. Whatever we achieve, it rarely feels like quite enough for long.

There will always be someone who somehow appears to have their life more neatly organised.

For people who are naturally driven, that can be particularly tricky. Ambition and curiosity are not bad things – they often lead us to wonderful experiences and personal growth. But when the bar keeps moving, satisfaction can become strangely elusive.

Instead of pausing to enjoy what we have done, we can find ourselves immediately scanning the horizon for the next challenge.

Our brains are very good at focusing on what is missing rather than what is already present. Psychologists sometimes call this the “scarcity mindset” – a habit of attention that continually searches for gaps, shortcomings or the next improvement that needs to be made.

Over time, that mindset can quietly undermine our sense of wellbeing.

When we start to believe that everyone else is doing better, achieving more, or living more exciting lives, it becomes very easy for the quiet voice of “not enough” to creep in.

Not successful enough. Not fit enough. Not organised enough. Not happy enough.

Over time that kind of thinking can quietly drain our mental reserves.
What the book suggests is that contentment often begins when we interrupt that pattern. Instead of constantly asking what we should add to our lives, we occasionally pause and ask a different question.

What, right now, is already enough?

It is a simple question, but it can be surprisingly powerful.

Enough might look like a peaceful cup of tea before the day begins. A conversation with a friend that leaves you feeling lighter. A walk where your mind finally slows down. A day that contains no great achievement but also no particular crisis.

These moments rarely appear on social media feeds. They are not dramatic or particularly photogenic. Yet they are often the moments where our nervous system settles and our mental health quietly benefits.

Recognising “enough” does not mean giving up on ambition or improvement. It simply means remembering that our wellbeing does not always depend on having more, doing more, or becoming more.

Sometimes it grows when we notice what is already here.

And occasionally, in the middle of ordinary life, that can be more than enough.