Unfortunately, there is no magic wand to take away the pain. Grief is something you have to work through. There is no set time to say when you will feel better. Sometimes you might find that you take two steps forwards and then three steps backwards.
Many people try to hide their feelings, but they are an inevitable part of bereavement, so do not be afraid of crying or showing emotion. Tears relieve emotional stress and there is nothing to be ashamed of.
Many people have times when they feel angry. It can often help to share your feelings with a sympathetic listener, indeed much healing can come from talking.
Many people choose to withdraw from social contact, feeling unable to face the outside world. You may feel like this, but grieving is difficult enough without having to do it all on your own. Allow yourself time to grieve and adjust to your new situation. Always take time before making any major decisions such as moving house.
Grief and mourning are there for a reason; they are the beginning of the healing road we all need to travel. We are not meant to live with perpetual grief; it will serve its purpose and then move gently on, leaving you with the things that matter, the thoughts and memories of the one you love.
Bereavement Support Groups
“I made the best decision of my life to continue the group until the end…they gave me hope where I thought there was none…I was in a deep pit with no way out that I could find…this group became my lifeline… I have made some wonderful lifelong friends at the group.” from a member of our group.
Running in our communities at regular intervals throughout the year, our bereavement support groups are open to all, regardless of how long ago the bereavement, or which funeral director was used.
Coping after a funeral
When somone has died, friends and family want to help. The funeral takes place and the weeks pass. People slowly stop visiting and calling and life for them goes back to normal. But you’re still in the same painful boat; in fact, it can seem worse as there are far fewer distractions. Your life will never be the same again and you face the task of finding a ‘new normal’.
Coping with losing a pet
Pets are often seen as a member of the family, a companion or friend, so losing them can be devastating and an extremely emotional time. Feelings of loneliness and isolation are perfectly normal but not everyone can understand the intense grief that can follow losing your pet. The empty space left behind can be just as big as if you have lost your friend or relative.
Coping with loss from suicide
There are no words, but people want to say something, anything that might help, but even though they are offered with the best of intentions, there is little comfort to be found. Perhaps the most meaningful words you could say are by Dr Bill Webster, “no one has the perfect words to make your sadness go away, but you may feel comfort in knowing how many people wish they did.”
Coping with sudden or traumatic death
There are no words, but people want to say something, anything that might help, but even though they are offered with the best of intentions, there is little comfort to be found. Perhaps the most meaningful words you could say are by Dr Bill Webster, “no one has the perfect words to make your sadness go away, but you may feel comfort in knowing how many people wish they did.”
