Organising someone’s belongings
Losing a loved one is an incredibly challenging and emotional experience. Amidst the grief and the process of saying goodbye, there comes the practical task of managing their personal belongings. This can be a daunting and overwhelming responsibility, as each item may carry significant sentimental value.
At Rosedale Funeral Home, we understand the difficulties involved in this process. This guide is designed to provide you with advice on how to approach organizing your loved one’s belongings. Whether you choose to handle this alone or with the support of family and friends, our aim is to offer guidance that respects your loved one’s memory while also helping you find peace in the process.
When and how to do this
Some people are forced by circumstances to carry out these tasks quickly whilst for others; an immediate reaction to bereavement can be to quickly clean out everything. The thought behind this approach is that you will feel better if you do not see the personal belongings. The real truth is that most will not feel better; in fact as time passes, some may regret clearing out and giving away the items so quickly.
For many, it is so overwhelming that it is easier to just leave everything as is, for others it is the sad realisation that their loved one is not returning and that with the exception of specific items that may have been itemised in the will, their possessions are now yours. There is no right or wrong time to do this, but once probate or letters of administration have been granted, it is a personal decision of what works best for you. Some people do find that it helps to take time, to hold things, to recall and savour memories and decide which items to keep and which need to be donated to charity shops or discarded.
The best way to get started is to tackle one corner, one drawer or one file at a time. Create four piles; the save pile, the donation pile, the rubbish pile and the “not sure what I want to do with” pile. Once you start, you will find that you will develop both satisfaction in accomplishing the task and fond memories reminiscing. If it is overwhelming, take a few items to a different room and go through them at your leisure.
It may be the dark winter evenings that you choose to spend indoors sorting, or perhaps the arrival of spring or the long days of summer, it is whatever time feels right for you to start tackling some of these tasks.
Consider family members and friends who may enjoy a special item and think about what items could be included in a memorial box or become a family heirloom. It may be worth considering having special items of clothing made into a teddy bear or a quilt for yourself or a family member.
Take your time, do not let yourself be overwhelmed and cherish the memories. If you are not ready to go through the belongings, don’t. Wait until you are ready.
You may wish to create a memory box of possessions that you wish to keep, that you can open when you wish to remember. This could include photographs, certificates, medals, cards and letters, newspaper cuttings, the death announcement, the Order of Service from the funeral, a handkerchief, glasses or other personal items.
