Following the death of a child
It is often hard to believe that this is happening to you and you may be in shock. It is not unusual to feel it can’t be true, to feel numb or confused about what may need to be done. Try to take your time in making choices and decisions. There is no right or wrong way to be feeling. Everyone is different and people often think things through and change their minds. We are here to guide you through the funeral arrangements and will help you every step of the way.
Rosedale’s Financial Commitment
It is devastating enough when a child dies, and financial worries about paying funeral costs make it even worse. At Rosedale, we made the commitment many years ago to carry out the arrangements for children under the age of 18 without making a charge.
Our commitment includes the following:
1 To collect your child and bring them into our care at Rosedale Funeral Home.
2. The professional services of a Funeral Director and any other staff required throughout, the use of the Chapel of Rest or alternative arrangements should you wish for your child to be at home with you.
3. Your choice of vehicles for the funeral service which could be a hearse, estate car and/or limousine.
4. A cloth covered wooden coffin
Other financial support
There are likely to be additional costs such as the funeral venue, the fee for the person taking the service, flowers and/or service sheets to name a few.
The Children’s Funeral Fund is government support to help pay for some of the costs of a funeral for a child under 18 or a baby stillborn after the 24th week of pregnancy.
Emotional Support
We all grieve in different ways and following the death of a child, for many it is a long, slow process that never really ends. Many people feel tearful and sad for many weeks and months after their child’s death. Grieving can feel like being on a roller coaster, up one minute and down the next – it’s hard to know what you will be feeling. Many parents find they are helped when they give themselves time together to talk about their feelings – some find they need spiritual or grief support from a minister, the help of an experienced bereavement or relationship counsellor or draw comfort from attending bereavement groups.
Time Norfolk – The pregnancy loss charity.
The Compassionate Friends – offering support after the death of a child of any age.
4Louis – supporting families through miscarriage, stillbirth and child loss.
SANDS – Still birth and neonatal death charity.
The Lullaby Trust – support after a baby has died.
Nelson’s Journey – support for chlidren following a bereavement
Other Children
When there are other children in the family they too may feel sad and confused. Parents find that it helps their children if they can be honest and open from the start. Children sense when there is something wrong and when their parents are upset. Making time to sit quietly with them and telling them the truth in a loving, gentle way seems to help most. Even quite young children are able to ‘understand’ in their own way much more than we might expect. Children can be comforted when they feel included, when we let them into our grief and explain why we are hurting.
We have many resources to help a bereaved child including our bereavement library, memory bears, as well as being able to signpost to local help and support. We can even arrange to talk to the child’s school to advise them on how best to treat the bereaved child.
