7. Sarah’s Blog

At Rosedale Funeral Home, we understand that grief is a deeply personal journey, shaped by many different factors. Sarah’s blog is where the many aspects of bereavement are explored —offering insights into how loss can affect us. From practical guidance and reflections on coping with grief, to stories and perspectives that may bring comfort, Sarah’s Blog, and our bereavement support groups in Norfolk and Suffolk aim to support you every step of the way.

Grief and Loneliness

Mother Teresa once said that loneliness is the ‘Leprosy of modern society’ and the most severe form of poverty. It is ironic that even though we have more ways than ever to communicate with others, almost a quarter of adults regularly experience loneliness. The rates are higher amongst younger adults.

TV, internet and social media has made many of us so self- contained that face- to- face interactions can sometimes feel awkward and difficult.

The death of a loved one can make many people feel they want to withdraw from others and hide away with their pain. Grief can be isolating as we struggle to process our feelings alone, not wanting to burden others or show the depth of our sorrow.

Even if we live with others or have close friends or family members, we can still be lonely for THAT special person and the relationship and closeness we shared. Suddenly, there are big gaps in our life that we are aware of, every moment of every day.

It is possible to feel ‘lonely in a crowd’. Being surrounded by people at a social event may emphasise our loneliness and detachment from others.

For those who have lost a partner, coming home to an empty house can feel unbearable, many particularly struggle with long, dark winter nights. Having a TV or radio on can help to fill the silence.

Many bereaved people confess to talking to their loved ones’ photo. No, this does not mean they are going mad! It is simply a way of maintaining the connection with that special person.

There are many responses to loneliness, some are helpful whilst others may not serve us well in the long term. Turning to alcohol can be a natural response for some. It can be a way of temporarily numbing the pain. In moderation, it offers relaxation and an occasional outlet for stress. However, it is important to notice if it becomes a crutch that we need to lean on in order to function day to day and an avoidance strategy for facing our real emotions.

We all need something to lean on in life and there is no shame in that. Many find support and comfort in faith, friendship, a job or volunteering, interests and hobbies, music and artistic activities. Of course, we can never replace what our loved one brought to our life but finding the right coping strategies which are beneficial and not harmful, can be a way of filling the loneliness with connection, purpose and fulfilment. Here are some ideas:

• Engage in regular physical exercise- walking out doors, gardening, join a gym, sports club or exercise class.
• Volunteer in a local charity or get involved in community initiatives
• Pet ownership can be beneficial and therapeutic. Dog walking is good exercise and a great way to meet people. Pets are wonderful company giving us a reason to get up in the morning and a friendly welcome when we get home.
• Take up or re- engage with a hobby. Meeting like minded people is a great way to build connections. Organisations like The university of the Third Age (U3A) offer regular talks, meet ups and outings for the retired community.
• Book groups, choirs and art/craft classes are a great way to meet people.
• ‘Mens sheds’ offer friendship and practical projects to get involved in.

Perhaps consider talking to a counsellor or wellbeing professional – there are many private options or your GP will be able to refer you.

Rosedale’s bereavement support groups provide a safe, trusted place to talk about bereavement and  be listened to. Call  01379 640 810  to reserve your free place on the next group.