5. Sarah’s Blog

At Rosedale Funeral Home, we understand that grief is a deeply personal journey, shaped by many different factors. Sarah’s blog is where the many aspects of bereavement are explored —offering insights into how loss can affect us. From practical guidance and reflections on coping with grief, to stories and perspectives that may bring comfort, Sarah’s Blog, and our bereavement support groups in Norfolk and Suffolk aim to support you every step of the way.

For many, the new year can be an opportunity for a fresh start. We can put the old year, with all its ups and downs, behind us and look forward with anticipation to what the next twelve months might bring.
I’m far too long in the tooth to bother with new year’s resolutions. I’m wise enough to know that the cold, wet month of January is the worst time to go on a radical diet. I just can’t bring myself to eat a cold salad when my body is begging me for warming comfort food!

I take my lead from the natural world- several animals hibernate or migrate to warmer locations during the winter and many trees and plants remain dormant until the weather warms. Far better to start a new healthy eating and exercise regime when the days are longer and sunnier. Better still, rather than setting unachievable goals that I am guaranteed to fail at, I try to aim for consistent, year- round gentle exercise and moderation in all things edible (with the occasional indulgence!)

I have noticed that some magazines are moving away from the traditional ‘New Year, New You!’ narrative, and about time! The truth is, the year may have changed but we are still who we are. Far better to accept and learn to love what we’ve been given, whilst continuing to nurture our well-being, growth and development.

For many who are bereaved, the year may have changed but the grief still remains. However, that doesn’t mean we have to remain stuck in the past and can’t still enjoy the life we have now. Practicing self-care and putting some things in the diary to look forward to, can be a way of developing hope and a forward -facing mindset. We should not feel guilty about this. It does not mean we are forgetting our loved ones or leaving them behind. Rather, we continue to hold them close but also move forwards with life. We can grieve and fully live at the same time.

Guilt is not a helpful emotion and is often present for those who are grieving. It keeps us locked in a cycle of self-recrimination. We may ask ourselves ‘Why did I say that?’ or ‘Why didn’t I do that?’

Often, when it comes to someone we love, we always wish we had done better. We have to accept that we did all we could possibly do with the information and capability we had at the time. It is not helpful to blame ourselves for things that are only known with the benefit of hindsight.

The truth is, no one is perfect. Being human means, we mess up and make mistakes. Punishing ourselves will not bring our loved one back.

Practising acceptance and forgiveness is a much healthier approach. It frees us to stop fighting our circumstances and the things we cannot change. When we let go of the questions we may never know the answers to, we can freely live, making the best of what we have left.

This sentiment is summed up in the well-known Serenity Prayer which is often used in recovery programmes. Whether God is our ‘cup of tea’ or not, we can all acknowledge our need for more serenity, courage and wisdom:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

If you’ve recently had a bereavement (or at any time in the past) and would like to talk to others in a similar position call 01379 640 810 to reserve your free place on our next bereavement group. Rosedale’s bereavement support groups are safe, confidential and local to Norfolk and Suffolk.
More information about support following a bereavement can also be found at rosedalefuneralhome.co.uk

Rosedale’s Bereavement Support Groups are safe, confidential and local to Norfolk and Suffolk.

Rosedale’s bereavement support groups provide a safe, trusted place to talk about bereavement and  be listened to. Call  01379 640 810  to reserve your free place on the next group.